Women's circle

Scared safe space. 

Women supporting women.

Journaling,

encouraging, 

guidance through a 7 oracle carding. 

Self enquiry,

Goal setting,

Breaking blocks that prevent growth,

Intention setting, 

Insight,

Wisdom,

Healing,

Returning to SELF.

Come join us on zoom and in person on the new moon and the full moon. 

No subscription fee or membership needed just come along when you can. Drop in basis. £10 per zoom call. 

In person events vary. 

Contact me for more details. 

The words we never spoke,

The feelings we never showed,

Slip into silver mist.

Dissipate,

Unseen,

Unexpressed to those with whom we had intention. 

Silent stories

Untold,

Legends kept like treasures locked inside this timber box.

No map

No X marking this spot.

Invisible ink,

Always on the brink,

Blank page now turned. 

Goodbye to these silver ghosts 

The words that never spoke,

Slip silently away. 

Destiny had a different way. 

All the things I never said.

Have you ever regretted things you never said then it was too late? 

A loved one now passed on,

A friend long gone,

Like appreciating spring when her flowers had wilted and died. 

There was so much I wanted to say to my loved ones,

Fortunately I was honest and had that opportunity, 

Unspoken words got relayed in dreams instead. 

Imagined scenarios.

Maybe unspoken words get delivered in other ways when we are too afraid to speak them.

Conversations with a ghost.

The door

I can’t sleep. I’ve been awake since 3am. 

Yesterday I watched my baby attend her end of school prom. 

It was as frantic as a wedding day and I felt as proud as can be. 

Not because she’s left school and she looked gorgeous but because she’s a beautiful,

Resilient beautiful character and my heart was bursting with love for her. 

She hasn’t had it easy and in spite of everything she’s faced she glowed yesterday. 

I wanted to make her day super special. 

I bought her flowers, a continental breakfast for when she woke, 

Champagne and strawberries and as I wrote her card I welled up. 

These years have gone so quickly.

.

The day was a busy blur of appointments, chatter, laughter, tears, pride, photos, photos.. photos..

It had all the buzz of a wedding except it involved hundreds of brides 👰 and their ‘grooms’ all enjoying the high vibes of the day.

When I went to pick her up with her friends they were all there rocking out and the energy was electric, emotional and beautiful. 

An end of an era.

Tucking my exhausted head into bed that evening I felt so contemplative.
I thought I would sleep like a log.
But I hardly slept.
My mind was buzzing from the energy of the day and I couldn’t seem to switch off.
3am I finally gave in and decided to go downstairs to see if a cuppa and a sit in the garden would chill me out.
I often used to get this when I was married.
I wouldn’t be able to sleep and eventually I’d give in and go and have a hot drink with this sense of anticipation for some message to come to mind from above.
I had this feeling again.

The birds are noisy at 3am!
A chaos of chirping from one tree,
Swallows swooping,
Pigeons gliding above with a tilted angle so as to catch the sunlight reflecting off the plumage.
The moon was clearly visible although it was perfect daylight. At 3am.. 🤨 it must be due to the summer solstice.
I hugged my warm mug and felt the tears rise.
A release.
A letting go.
Not just of my emotions from the day but for so much.
A deep letting go of the last 2 years.
Letting go of resistance to what is brewing within me,
A letting go to having to hold on so tightly to anything that I’ve clung to.
A letting go to the unknown ahead.
A letting go to this feeling in my chest..
I visualized walls around my heart,
They were crumbling rapidly.
They had been created to protect me.. but they had also limited my ability to flow.
I could feel this overwhelming warm beautiful love within me.
It wanted to flow freely.. out.
It wanted to drench others..
But something was different this time.
I didn’t need anything in return.

So often we love to be loved.
We give to receive.
We open and expect openness.
But this was unconditioned.

I’ve learnt to love myself.
I’ve learnt how to fill my own cup.
When we love to receive something that’s not love. It’s attachment with affection that fades possibly if the other person doesn’t respond as we would like.

This is highlighted to me being a mother.
My kids haven’t always been able to ‘show’ love in return.
There are times I am just taxi or bank or we may not have seen eye to eye,
It doesn’t change my love though.
It won’t matter what they do in life,
What mistakes they make,
My love is so deep it will always exist.
Regardless.

I metaphorically saw a door I front of me.
As I took another slug of my tea.
I hear a voice.. ‘It’s transition time.’
I feel some change ahead..
I see myself reaching for the door handle but it opens by itself.
As it opens it is as if I am in an airplane and I feel a parachute upon my back.
The clouds below me cloud my view.
I have no idea what I’m jumping into.. but this feeling within me knows it’s good.
I jump.
Into the unknown I jump..
❤️

You have heard the expression ‘ We bend so that we don’t break,’ it’s a fairly cliche statement but to me I do believe it is true. 

When my marriage broke down 2 years ago I thought I would break. 

I thought my entire life was going to be a shit festival. 

I couldn’t imagine ever feeling happy - even though admittedly I wasn’t happy during my married life either. 

The months and years that followed have proven otherwise. 

The universe still had a plan. 

In fact this was always the plan. I had witnessed this in a vision 7 years prior but I hadn’t understood it at the time. 

This breaking was going to be the making of me. 

Yet I was broken.

I was fragile.

I was lonely.

I felt rejected.

I felt lost. 

I found comfort in a few things but there was this gaping void that ate at me any moment it chose. 

I had to work on this myself. 

I knew I needed to heal,

To rest,

To love myself. 

I had always been open to spiritual gifts but this became a catalyst for a whole new world. 

They call it an awakening. 

When your current life crashes and crumbles leaving you like a pile of burnt ash you have two choices. 

Learn to rise and recreate yourself like a phoenix ~ setting fire to the past and throwing every ounce of your being into a new version of you or you remain in the ash, beaten and burnt. 

I chose the rising. 

Sounds wonderful doesn’t it?

It wasn’t. 

There was nothing glorious about that choice. 

It hurt. 

It was confusing,

I clung, 

I cried,

I looked outside of me for clarity and something to fill the ache,

Yet something was changing in me.

It was a voice within..

A cheering on. 

My soul wanted me to succeed in this transformation.

I started to meet people who walked alongside me,

That were experiencing similar catalysts,

I lost friendships

I lost familiar things,

Literally everything that reminded me of my old life got taken away.

My husband,

My home,

Friends,

At times the loneliness and jarring of all this loss felt like a knifes edge with no release. 

But I started to dream,

I started to see hope of new life,

It didn’t resemble my old one.

I realized I had become resilient and a strange resistance grew with me to anything that looked and felt and sounded like my old way of living.

I could no longer engage in certain conversations,

Things that used to interest me fell away.

Certain situations made me want to slip back into solitude.

I felt like I was rebuilding myself and the process required times alone.

I still feel that a lot. 

Like a new bud that’s just emerged from the soil, it is vulnerable to the elements, it needs a small pot and shelter from heavy rain or frost. 

That was me..hidden. Protecting. Growing. New.

I felt the growth. 

I felt the change. 

So much of who I used to be felt invalid.

This great stripping away was revealing something of me that at times surprised me.

It felt like the ash had become a warm coal, which had ignited a tiny flame which had now become a contagious fire bursting forth wild and free.

A feisty passion was gnawing at me, 

Teeth grit with determination to never go back to that timid version of myself that allowed others to mold and shape who I had become. 

Structures broke. 

Religious structure,

Relationship structures,

Community structure,

Rules.. it all just fell away. 

Leaving this fire. Pure and untethered. A freedom I had always searched for. In the centre of my heart space. 

I used to care what people thought of me, in many ways it creeps back, but that’s ego. The first freedom I’ve experienced is something I never want to lose. I can’t climb back into any caged structures. I feel quashed. I guess the butterfly never returns to the cocoon, but the cocoon was necessary for the rebirth. 

I know I’ve just begun. 

I know there’s more.

I know the path to awakening to your fullest freedom is done step he step. But this is my experience,

You might relate.

You might not.

That’s not my concern.

One thing I’ve learnt. 

No one can wake you but you.

It’s a choice. There’s a dissatisfaction and a knowing that where you are is or isn’t where you are meant to be. It’s a feeling that this isn’t it? There is more.. I’m yearning something. You might not even be aware what it is.. but stay still. Get quiet, whisper to your soul.. ‘ What do we want?’ 

Trust it’s answer. 

Stay lit 🔥

Stay Woke

Stay passionate 

Provoke yourself into the journey of a lifetime. 

Don’t settle.

Rebekah 

Growth. 

Get

Réal

On

Ways Of

Thé 

Heart..

Growth to me is a bit of a sickly subject if seen through the eyes of ego.

I mean does a child boast that it’s feet have lengthened or that they have outgrown  their trainers as if this is something to be rewarded or seen as commendable? 

Growth in many respects happens regardless of our commitment to it. 

Life throws situations at us that present challenges and need of solutions and therefore we ultimately have to grow. 

But I believe we can have a willingness to growth. A healthy desire for growth, a hunger if you will.

There are many of us who resist growth and therefore can resist the fluidity of change. 

Ultimately growth is change. 

Looking at my blog posts from 2016 I see change. 

A fresh yoga teacher with no idea where this path and studies would take me.

My  first nervous class, My unfamiliarity with my offering. My teaching style. My voice. 

Now I am seeing so much of what I deemed important back then as not so important at all.

Now my yoga classes are incorporated with self questioning,  themes about our inner workings, our heart our soul.. basically my unique fingerprint creates each class. As do any other classes that bring a part of themselves. 

What I mean to say is yoga classes, asana and what I was taught are a small part of what I love to incorporate into class. 

Our experiences shape our offerings. 

Like a Bee collecting pollen from a flower. 

Things stick to you... things that resonate with you become a part of what you offer.

Let’s say I’m a bee... I’m attracted to a red flower.. not the yellow one. 

The red one is looking delicious. So I go and nestle in the red flower. 

When I leave that flower I have it’s experience all over me. It’s stuck to my fuzziness and I’m smelling and tasting like that red flower. A transaction has taken place. 

Now I buzz to my next class and pass on that pollen to the students I interact with. 

In conversation,

In energy,

In spirit. 

I pass on the experience to others. 

Each transaction is personal depending on what I am attracted to in the first place, how I’ve embraced  that experience and now how I pass it on. 

Each persons interest, what attracts them, to the point where they get more acquainted with.. it all has a direct impact on the type of experience and classes they create. 

Mr bumble bee who wasn’t interested in the red flower but fancies dipping his toes in the yellow ashtanga pollen will offer a totally different offering. 

There lies the beauty.. immerse yourself in what you are attracted to. Get involved in it. Join a course. Class. Circle. Group and then get excited about what excites You! 

Don’t worry about the rest.. your tribe will come because of the uniqueness that you offer and the passion behind what you bring. 

Rebekah x 

Being mindful

Mindfulness is an art, that can only be mastered by first recognizing that you are not practicing it at all! The ability to calm a ragged sea, to quieten the roar of the inner dialogue.to BE STILL in amongst the CHAOS within your own mind.

'Mindfulness means to pay attention in particular ways on purpose,in the present moment,and non-judgemental.' -John Kabat-Zinn


To be 'Wakeful' and 'Open hearten'Or as Katie Perry once sung,to be ' Wide Awake!'

This week in particular I have been returning to the practice of being mindful.Fully present in whatever I am engaged in at the time of its happening.

My mind has been a minefield since qualifying as a Yoga teacher, my Ego has been beating me up with sticks,
insecurities wriggling like nasty worms,
fears rising like erupting volcanos
and causing me to withdraw and retreat into the safely of the familiar.
But life is always a transformation,
continuous chasm of change.
So we either retreat to the old comforts or we calm the mind,
embrace the change and enjoy the ride.

I find in times of deep change, a time of retreat is important.
But to doesn't have to be negative.
It can be contemplative,
thoughtful,
positive.I have been looking at my journey,
 seeing how far I have come.
Stopping to be grateful,
then looking at where I need to go,
breathing,
Looking at what has served me to this point
and what needs to stay in the past.
What can I carry with me into the next season?
What can I leave?


Have you seen that quote;

Make a list of what makes you happy?
Make a list of what you do.
compare the lists,
adjust accordingly.


This week has been a lot of that.
I encourage you to do it too!
Rebekah ❤